The pallbearers - My brothers and cousins....
Babushka and her sister
Two of my brothers and their girlfriends
The funeral.....the second funeral I have ever been to but the first family funeral for me. I balled my eyes out but I loved it.....I loved being together with my extended family and celebrating the memory of Dedushka.
* * * * *
Case Of The Ex.....The children's father came up for an unexpected visit....I hadn't seen him since that day...he went to lock up and I packed a suitcase and left - its been almost two years. I was terrified the whole time I knew he was coming, having random mini panic attacks. Its amazing how different my circumstances are now and yet the same emotional triggers can cause me to fear.
Long story short - I am too nice still......and it cost me. :( It appears some people never change no matter how many chances they get. But the kids did get to see their Dad and their time with him was uneventful...thank goodness...
It has been such a stressful week with curve balls flying at me from every direction.....thus far I have survived and I am still sane! (I think) Ash's birthday could have been better, but I think he had a good day. I am feeling like such a "bad" mum tho...grumpy, stressed and totally stuck in my own bubble trying to cope...I do love you...I am sorry guys!
"Refiner's fire" much.....*sigh*