Only Slightly Bonkers....

Its only the morning of the second official day of the summer holidays and the children are driving me nuts!!

I tried to tell my son yesterday that its not that I hate spending time with them - they are super awesome little people and I am completely enamoured by their brilliant personalities - its just that these wonderful personalities are ofttimes sometimes hidden by bickering, whining,  selfish stomping demands etc....and they are the traits that I don't want to hang out with! However, the more I think about this, the more I think of all the negative traits of mine that they endure day in and day out - and the difference.....

They still want me around all the time!!

And on top of that, think that I am a most excellent mother!

*sigh* 

I honestly have so much to learn from them.....

'Motherhood'.....

"Motherhood is about accepting the limitations of time and energy, which stretch beyond you. Even though sometimes it feels like they could consume you. Search for and hold onto your own true self. If you lose that, what kind of mother can you be?"

Just watched a fabulous movie - "Motherhood" - its been a while since I have stumbled on a film that is all the things I want it to be - emotionally moving  and thought provoking....life changing even.

* * * * * 

I actually had a great night with the kids tonight - everyone was out, so it felt (just for a night) like our own home. The kids ate 2 min noodles, cheerios, and yogurt - and me, cheerios (and popcorn and chocolate when they went to bed :) ), I let them get a little crazy. I was involved....and most of all I didn't get cranky. I didn't have anywhere to be, or that I wanted to be - just chilling out with my family....and it was brilliant.

I am kind of looking forward to having no license and being house bound - the chance to get back to where I belong....with my children...even when they are sleeping. I know I have been living a double life (some would say triple...but I am debating that!!)  for awhile now. My children have been competing with my 'passions' for attention....and that is not good. They shouldn't have to compete, they should know that they have access to me all the time.

So from now on....

It's more of this.....

and less of this....

and a WHOLE lot more of this....

and a WHOLE lot less of this...

I PROMISE!!

I will still have passions - because they are important....and I know what it is to live without them....but they are not my life - my children are.....Regardless of my situation.

Just to clarify - this post is sounding like I am a hugely neglectful of my children - I am not....I love them more than anything! There is not a single night that passes, no matter what I am doing, that I don't check them before I go to bed, re-tuck them, kiss them and tell them I love them.....