Thursday, July 21, 2011

Don't Be A Hater.....

I washed my car today (last week). Its been I really can't remember the last time I did it.

It's hard to care when your car is as undesirable as mine is. It rattles, its loud, it has peeling tinted windows, the body is dented and marked, the glove box fell off a few months ago - sometimes I look at it and want to cry *sigh*

But when I think that about my car I feel really bad. I got it almost 3 years ago for $500-ish off my brother. He was going to trade it in - I paid more than he would have got for it, but I totally scored and it was a huge blessing. I didn't have much funds and I was in desperate need of a car.

I can't hate on it.

It may look and sound like a piece of junk, but I haven't put that much money into it and it still runs reliably.

My husband's daughter had to get a new car this past week, and I looked wistfully and all the cars I would like to replace my car - Nothing fancy, 2nd hand under $8.000, manual, etc (I know my fantasy specs....:) It would be awesome for the first time in my life to actually choose my car.


I really don't want one right now. I am happy/satisfied with my little car - it gets me around and I don't cringe too much when the kids do what they do.

However, when it finally stops running, I won't be too sad to see it go. ;)

 My car, when I first got it - I am not going to post a photo of it "now" :)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Lesson Learned.....???

Things have not gone my way this week/end and I am not dealing well at all. I put my neck out earlier in the week....I was good to myself, I rested, I heat packed, I got acupuncture, my whole little family was praying for my recovery....I had faith that it would all work out in time.

It didn't.

Well, actually Thursday night was great, I was healing wonderfully and everything was still going as planned. I tried to get up at 5.30am Friday morning - something went, and I was in agony....I could barely move and it was excruciating just to sit up.In that moment, it was over - No Ball, no routine....and I cried. Both for the pain I was in, and in disappointment. Disappointment that all my plans were over and that I was letting my dance partner down....especially that - I hated having to make the call. I cried on and off all day. Yay.

It wasn't just going to a Stake Ball either - there will be plenty more this year all over Brisbane.....It was just a chance for me to be in a social environment with people that I had been going to church with over the past six months - they really don't know anything about me....and they would have got to see me dance with Michael. That sounds really selfish - but its not that I think I am awesome, I just wanted to share something I am totally passionate about.

So anyway - as I said, I am not dealing well  - I hate not being able to do things that need doing, I can't just neglect that house, I still have to feed the kids and be a mum.....In saying that, Michael has been wonderful. He took that day off to drive me to all my appointments and to run the errands I needed to do and as I type this he has made pancakes for the kids and is folding my massive mound of washing - he would probably do a lot more if I let him. :)

One thing I have learned, is that I have a tendency to be a whinging b*tch with things aren't going as I have planned. I am terrible, I get angry and irritable at everything. Its not a very pretty personal revelation. *sigh*

As a sit here, packing heat, trying to ignore the filthy floors and to hold my tongue (after already apologising for my snapping at people....again).....I am wondering why? What can I learn from this?.....What does this show me about myself? (aside from the obvious ;) - and its this moment, I am grateful - for the trial, for the pain, for the opportunity my husband has to serve me, and for being forced to stop and acknowledge that as much as I think I can, I can't control everything....and thats ok - its here that I have to learn to roll with the punches, take a break and jump right in again when I am ready.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Addicted To Psych.....

 If you know me, you would know I can be a little intense when it comes to things I like. I devour books within days, I play favourite songs over and over and OVER,  I can eat a whole jumbo popcorn (seriously ;)....and TV shows are no different. I have been super bummed out that one of my favourite shows, "Psych", was hardly getting any airplay and for ages I could only get one season on DVD....

So these holidays I just decided to download it.

A greedy couple of weeks and five seasons later - I am overloaded, but still I could go more - alas I have one episode left to watch and I am waiting for Michael to get home to watch it with him.

Luckily the kids love it almost as much as I do, so when Michael was away for the week we had marathon Psych afternoons - it was the best part of the holidays.

If you haven't seen it, you are missing out on some seriously hilarious wise cracking, fist bumping, movie referencing goodness....Whaat?!