Christmas....Part Two

It was so great to have Christmas fall on a Sunday this year. I was CRAVING it! I was in tears two days before because I had so much trouble wading through the commercialisation and the busyness of the season and finding Christ at the centre. Which was rather bizarre since we attend church every Sunday and strive to live a "Christ centred life". (I think it is a reflection of my lacking personal scripture study - a goal of mine for the new year)

It was good to be at church and to partake of the sacrament, sit with my family and just listen (as much as possible, there were two wards in one chapel - lots of child noise!).

My super studly husband sporting his new glassed and Christmas tie - post church

After opening our presents I finished making my sweet potato salad and we headed off to Michael's brother's house for his family's Christmas lunch. It was fabulous...meat, prawns and salads and great company. A very relaxed lunch. I loved it. (On a side note: Michael's brother and his wife were in my ward when I was growing up - although I never met Michael - and I remember wishing they were part of my family. His wife was in the Young Women Presidency and I loved her. Bizarrely, I got my wish, just not in the way that I though!!)


Post lunch we skyped Nana and other family interstate....loving technology! 


We then played a present game with the gifts we bought. We were required to each bring a $5 present, including the children. Then we all picked a number out of a 'hat' (the hand of Michael's sister), that was our order of gift selection. Once the first person had chosen a gift and opened it so everyone could see it, the next person had the option of 'stealing' a gift or selecting one from the unopened pile. I learned that my daughter valued a six pack of ginger beer over make-up (I should have put some in her stocking, note to self for next year), which alas she lost to Michael's sister-in-law (the one I love). She ended up, quite happily, with a massive tray of Maltesers.  Michael's son ended up with the make-up, but a kind hearted cousin (I think it was the one I want to marry my brother - it would be quite a lovely match methinks - shhhh, I don't think either of them read my blog) did a sympathy trade and he got a tie instead. 


During the game I committed a terrible gifting transgression - and I felt guilty for days! 

I chose my own gift!!!

Ugh....I couldn't help myself - it was this.....

Again: I couldn't help it - I desired it for myself as soon as I purchased it. Seriously, how good it Dr. Seuss?? Answer: Brilliant! Rhyming rocks my world...


I felt like I was slightly redeemed later in the week when Amelie wrapped up some of our Dr. Seuss collection (we had doubles...thank goodness) and gifted it to Michael other son (not the make-up/tie one) who we visited on Boxing Day. I still feel residual guilt at my Dr Seuss greed -I don't think I will be doing that again. 


Back to Christmas....


After gifting we all slept and the kids played quietly with their new toys - shock and bliss.....


That sure was my kind of Christmas  - I think I married into the right family


Have I posted my creative daughter's nativity scene?

Christmas.....Part One

It was our first Christmas as the Summerfield-Lawton family - which is kinda awesome in itself - it has been almost a year....I cannot believe it! And honestly its been awesome, amazing...etc

So....Yay for us! 

The highlight gift - a trampoline for the children, though perhaps more so for dear Husband. Although the size may have been a little extravagant. 16 ft!! Its takes up our entire backyard!!

Christmas Eve was with my immediate family - parents and three brothers and the fiance of one of my brothers. Roast turkey cooked in the Webber, prawns and cold ham and salads. I was super desperate, as I always am, to get opinions on my rose marie sauce. I thought it was brilliant! Chris made the Pavlova - I guiltily was a little judgmental of his recipe - he dared to deviate from Mum's tried and true recipe....sorry!! - it was yum and you did great!!

We tried out Uncle Matt's 3D TV and Michael and the kids watched 'Despicable Me'

And check out that chair....I mean seriously.....what??!!

and met the new addition to their family....

Meet Jax (the bulldog)- and Grandad....

Being the super organised person that I am, after returning home and putting the kids to bed, I still had presents to wrap and a pavlova to make (Take 2 - the first attempt got binned early in the day). Michael also had to finish the putting the trampoline up. It rained. So now Michael gets to tell the story of staying up until 2am, in the rain, on Christmas Eve putting together a present for the children. He loves it! What a champion!

I then decided I would set the table and make the lounge room all pretty for when the children wake up....

It lasted until after church when they were allowed to open their gifts from under the tree. (they got their stockings as soon as they woke).....

I don't know how they can trash a room so fast...

I am still cleaning up the mess!!.....

Addicted To Psych.....

 If you know me, you would know I can be a little intense when it comes to things I like. I devour books within days, I play favourite songs over and over and OVER,  I can eat a whole jumbo popcorn (seriously ;)....and TV shows are no different. I have been super bummed out that one of my favourite shows, "Psych", was hardly getting any airplay and for ages I could only get one season on DVD....

So these holidays I just decided to download it.

A greedy couple of weeks and five seasons later - I am overloaded, but still I could go more - alas I have one episode left to watch and I am waiting for Michael to get home to watch it with him.

Luckily the kids love it almost as much as I do, so when Michael was away for the week we had marathon Psych afternoons - it was the best part of the holidays.



If you haven't seen it, you are missing out on some seriously hilarious wise cracking, fist bumping, movie referencing goodness....Whaat?!

Best.Show.EVER

A Most Splendiferous Day.....

The day dawned and I was up early as usual - but craaaazy excited. Despite the excitement I felt pretty chilled out. The most stressful thing was worrying that the music would transport ok to the DJ, so we had some favourite songs, and routine music.

Oh yeah, and the fact that Michael didn't call me....I had a few butterflies about that...hoping he wasn't going to bail on me!...When I finally called he was like "I though we weren't having any contact today"...."noooo, we weren't seeing each other, but I totally wanted you to call me and tell me how much you love me, and how excited you were!! Sheesh...." ;)

Let just say getting ready for a wedding is all the more exciting when you have three children to get ready and to keep clean! :) Evette rocked up just after 11am with a friend from gym who was going to do our make up.....I was having fake eyelashes for the first time in my life! Don't really know why I haven't attempted it before, considering how lacking I am in the eyelash department!

I did my own hair, painted my nails, and the kids were all sorted without much drama....They looked gorgeous...

 Ash loved his suit, and Amelie felt like a princess....

Jack was MIA - outside pushing his wagon!

I didn't scrub up too bad either....*wink*

I totally felt like a princess!

I had planned to get to the venue early - but my brother was running late with the music and Michael wasn't there yet...so I chilled in the car with Evette down the road - all giggly and excited....chatting and reminiscing....I also couldn't help posting a quick facebook update ;)

We were fashionably late...it was awesome....Chris (my bro) took some pictures before we went up the stairs (we were getting married on the deck of my Aunty's house) - and as we walked out Jack kept yelling out "We are going to throw flowers at you!".....haha....soooo cute! Needless to say, Amelie got a case of shyness, and couldn't throw any rose petals, instead, buried her head in my dress.

 Somebody (me!) may have left the ring in the car....oops...Evette ducked out and returned just in time for my vows ;) 

 I have big knuckles....hehe

Its official.....yay!!!

We mingled, we took photos.....we missed the nibblies....so hungry! Michael's sister-in-law used to be my Young Women President, so it was kinda cool that we had known some of his family for years.....

We then went with my brother to the Botanical Gardens just down the road and took some (hoping :) awesome photos...it was fun - and then cruised down to the reception. 

Food! Friends, and dancing....it was an awesome night. The kids were running wild with each other, thank goodness for the playground out the back and big dance floor. It was nice to see the children having a great time as well. We have a sleepover planned for Amelie on our return!

Our bridal waltz was hilarious, I nearly fell over onto Michael - my shoes were definitely not made for dancing!! Although I did practice, I didn't account for the sore feet! It was still wonderful, we danced to "Put You Head On My Shoulder" by Michael Buble.

The Cake

Thank you Sam! It looked amazing and tasted just as good!!

Our routine kinda bombed - in my opinion anyway :) I don't know what it was...whether we were hopped up on adrenalin and nerves or if it actually was.....slower than normal!! We stopped it once, both noticing the tempo was a lot slower....and then just had a go anyway....It put us off - Michael forgot a bit, we messed up a little, and finished slightly late! Ugh....although it took me a full hour to stop shaking and my heart to mellow out, and the fact that I was mortified that we did so bad - especially since we were nailing it in our practice time....it was all good.  

 We got to dance together, and that's all that mattered.

...I did feel stunning in my dress, but it felt so good to swap my dress and heels for pants and dance shoes and shake it out! :) We danced a whole lot, got exhausted - and we closed shop about 9.30pm - I couldn't believe how early it was. Most people seemed to have a good time - but really, who cares, we had a ball! :) :) 

Here's the plan - I want a pot lucky/family dance party in that same hall for every anniversary - and I told Michael so. What do you think....? I think it's an awesome idea!! ;)

PS The following is in response to This Girl Loves To Talk's related post.....Aww Bobbie, I admit I had a little teary reading your post....I so would have loved you to come to celebrate our wedding with us, I was honestly slightly bummed out that you couldn't make it. You are one of the people that I wish I was able to spend more time with, for our children to get to know each other, to live closer....Thank goodness for Blogger and Facebook ;) I am so glad that we did reconnect, just to clear it up -  I do count you as friend. :) (We don't leave for our honeymoon until Friday... ;)

The Saddest Thing I Know....

I think about my ex husband a lot.

Not always in the forefront of my mind....mostly just hovering about the perimeter, but he is there. Its hard not to when I look at my children (our children) and the way they look, the things they like, and what they do....I see him in all of them.

I hate that he is so messed up....and I hate that he doesn't seem to know how much. It really is the saddest thing. The few times I have seen him I have wanted to cry. To know the kind of person he was to what he has become, its devastating. Not just in his behaviour, his appearance/countenance shows the most startling change...I am surprised and grateful that the children still love him, still go to him, still accept him, and recognise him for who he is to them....their father, who loves them the best way that he can.

I am writing about this now because I heard Part 2 of the Rhianna and Eminem song "Love The Way You Lie" for the first time on the radio on the way home - It's really powerful, and I find it easier to listen to than the first one....which is way too intense. Though they still dredge up the same memories, this one is less brutal and graphic. It bothers me that these songs connect with so many people, because it's obvious that so many have lived with violence in their relationships....and that sucks.



I really respect Eminem - though there are a lot of his songs that I cannot listen to, due to the hardcore verbally graphic nature of them. He reminds me a lot of the children's father. I think Eminem is extremely  talented...and if you listen to this interview with Rihanna here, she describes the things that I see in him as well (and she says it a lot better). She mentions that there seems to be so much going on in his head that without music as an outlet for him, basically he would be a  really messed up guy...and expressed what I like about him too, his brutal honestly and the way he confronts himself in his music. These are things I see in my ex-husband - his art is his outlet for his deep thinking mind...except somewhere along the way he has lost himself. To me he is a genius. I know so much of what is in his head and what he can contribute to society - all of which will be lost if he can't get it together at some point....and I truly pray that he does. It really would be the saddest thing I know if he died and was not able to share his talents or live up to his potential.

Every time I hear this song below I think about him - and its exactly how I feel....I just wish I could say it to him, or shake him or something....



Dudery, I really do hope you wake up in time.

Holiday Goodness.....Super Fun 5000!

Ok...after the initial stress and anxiousness of that first day - our trip has been AMAZING!! The kids had a fun time with their father, with only one 'episode'...thank goodness, and Michael handled it so well....the ultimate boyfriend test. :)

During our trip so far....

I was able to be a tourist....

Oh how I love Salamanca Markets!!

catch up with old friends....

gorgeous Vanessa - miss you already!

Amber, Louella and Maddy - awwww your girls are the sweetest!! Had a great catch up and stayed to celebrate Bethany's birthday.

 
made new ones.....

with Michael nephews, Jai and Cameron, and some others we just met at the park - I love park! :)

and enjoyed awesome family time.....

The cousins - minus a few, will miss having extended family (with children) around....

Amelie and Jack with Jane - she couldn't wait to see her Aunty Tash - awwww :)

Jack and Elliot

Ash on the flying fox - did I mention I/we love park? :)

AND couple time (woohoo!)....

Uh huh, I am not letting go of this gorgeous man! ;)....taken when cruising down to Southport (super south Tasmania) enjoying the beautiful scenery...

 This has been the most relaxing, fantastic, fun holiday EVER!!! Seriously, I have never been so un-stressed, happy, comfortable....and so loved and in love (*cough* did I just say that?? - and no that doesn't mean we are engaged, in case you are wondering *wink*)

Currently spending time with Liz (sister in law) and her boys (pics pending)  - will miss them so much!

Then...

On to Melbourne tonight - with a town trip and Tim Burton - genius! -  exhibition planned for tomorrow, with Michael and the kids....Yay!! 

AND

Just talked to Michael  - and he will watch the kids so I can go to a West Coast Swing class in Melbourne tomorrow night - be still my heart!! haha....double yay!! (he is squeezing in some modern jive action before he picks us up from the airport tonight - and yes dancing is the way to my heart - apparently - hehe)

My Father The Hero.....

I am really loving Father's Day this year - I am exploding with big love and appreciation for my Dad's awesome-ness.

My working, surfing, movie watching, mowing in his speedos, creative cooking, Bridge to Brisbane running, big sook, pistachio eating Dad.
  

Back in the day  - me (holy cheeks!) and my Dad before my Formal

He's been by my side through all the good bits and the hard bits - he doesn't tell me what to do (mostly...*wink*) and lets me live my life and make my own decisions, wrecks and all. 

He is also a super G'dad to the kids, and even more so because their Dad isn't around. He takes them to the beach, up to O'Reileys, to the movies at least once every school holidays, last night he took them to Riverfire on his own.

He really is my Hero. Love you Dad.

PS. Making yummy pancakes for breakfast (Dad styles - with beaten egg whites), and looking forward to Dad's Choice dinner - smoky BBQ ribs and sticky date pudding....oh yeah! :)

Where Did You Get Your Body From?....I Got It From My Mama.....

Me and Mum AFTER our run

Mum came over for the weekend (awesome)....and this morning we went for a road run - its been so long since we have been able to do that together and I really miss it. It also got me thinking, as we talked about different things...

I started thinking about an article I read in the paper last week about how we get our "body image" self esteem from our mothers. Often as daughters the view we have of our bodies is the same as our mother's....a product of watching her and emulating her from the time we were old enough to notice. I have been, over the years, rather frustrated that I have inherited my mother's low self esteem. I have hated that I didn't choose it and I wish I just didn't care.

As I thought about that I thought about my own daughter, and how she is constantly learning things from me....lots of things I wish she wouldn't because I haven't got it all figured out yet. But I can't help it, because I am who I am, still learning and far from being perfect....as was my my mother when she raised me....not that she or I aren't amazing women - just not perfect ;).... We all pick up issues from our parents physical or otherwise, that's life, there is not one single person that doesn't....so we can't be mad because we do. Its what we do from that point that is our choice....and only ours.

There is so much that I have learnt from my mother in relation to my body that has been positive - she taught us from a young age what a healthy diet was (she was an aerobics instructor when we were kids) - something that I took for granted and thought that everyone knew. She has taught me that its more important to be fit and strong than to be skinny. She also taught me how to feel comfortable with the processes of my body - I may have been unhappy with how it looked, but she made sure I was never short on information (oh how I love information!) - puberty, sex, child birth, sickness etc. - she studied to be a nurse and wasn't afraid of detail or being frank. Our family often had very colourful dinner table converstations! She is now studying to be a naturopath and is a wealth of knowledge -and I love it - I am so blessed by the things she has taught me. Because of her positive influence, even after three kids, I am the fittest I have been in my life....and I can run!

Its now up to me to learn how to love my body 'just the way it is' and share that with my daughter, as well as all the priceless information that my mother shared with me.

Mum I love you.....I think you are an amazing woman - and I wouldn't be at all upset if I turned out just like you! xx

Eventful Days....The Good and Not So Good....

The pallbearers - My brothers and cousins....

 

My favourite picture

Babushka and her sister

Two of my brothers and their girlfriends

The funeral.....the second funeral I have ever been to but the first family funeral for me. I balled my eyes out but I loved it.....I loved being together with my extended family and celebrating the memory of Dedushka.

* * * * *

Case Of The Ex.....The children's father came up for an unexpected visit....I hadn't seen him since that day...he went to lock up and I packed a suitcase and left - its been almost two years. I was terrified the whole time I knew he was coming, having  random mini panic attacks. Its amazing how different my circumstances are now and yet the same emotional triggers can cause me to fear.

Long story short - I am too nice still......and it cost me. :( It appears some people never change no matter how many chances they get. But the kids did get to see their Dad and their time with him was uneventful...thank goodness...

It has been such a stressful week with curve balls flying at me from every direction.....thus far I have survived and I am still sane! (I think) Ash's birthday could have been better, but I think he had a good day. I am feeling like such a  "bad" mum tho...grumpy, stressed and totally stuck in my own bubble trying to cope...I do love you...I am sorry guys! 

"Refiner's fire" much.....*sigh*