“Do not expect to be free entirely from trouble and disappointment and pain and discouragement, for these are the things that we were sent to earth to endure. “The scriptures promise, ‘There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it’ (1 Corinthians 10:13). “The Savior said, ‘Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me’ (D&C 88:63).”

My Academia.....

So I haven't blogged for about a month - mostly because Dad cut off the internet...and to save getting my own service provider for the last couple of months I am here, M hooked me up so I can piggy back off Grandma's connection next door (relax - she knows....) - However, this means I have to sit in the middle of the hallway at the other end of the house to get a good signal (which kinda sucks)....and haven't really been in my own comfort zone to blog.....

Anyway - at the moment I am up way too late stressing about uni....more specifically my degree and what I am going to major in. Thought I had it all figured out - Bachelor of Commerce with a major in Accounting (I dabbled with the idea of a combined Accounting/Law degree - although I ended up deciding it would cost too much money and take too long) - its what I like, what I have experience in....AND I am reasonably good at it....

BUT

....As it turns out, I am really loving Finance....like REALLY loving Finance! This is my first subject in the area, aside from a brief couple of classes as part of my accounting subject in high school - and I basically don't have a clue! I like what I am learning - and its the first time I have actually read a whole chapter of one of my text books because I actually WANTED to understand.  Its fascinating stuff!

The Problem: My tutor is a complete nerd....a super cool guy, but a complete nerd....He has degree in Maths and Physics with a PhD in Maths (there is more, I think - but you get the point)....anyway, bottom line is, he is crazy smart....and I am not. I am just a little bit smart and rather afraid that isn't going to be enough.

Hmmmm.......So that is where I am at, madly surfing the internet to find out what jobs there are in finance....and wondering if its for me - and worrying just a little because I feel like I don't have time anymore to make career choice mistakes! I need to get a degree and support my family, I can't afford to mess around - and I want to love what I do! Is that too much to ask??

*sigh*

I seriously think my brain is going to explode.....

Good night. :)

Crafty Resolution......

I am quite over my lack of crafty ambition - especially considering my children are so imaginative.

I promise to no longer starve them of crafty goodness!!

Brilliant G'ma Berice will not be next door after the new year (we are finally getting kicked out moving to our own place) to satisfy their craft desires - just me - and I am far from prepared.....so I am gonna do something about it!.....I made a list :)

Step 1 - subscribe to Kids Craft Weekly - check. 

Step 2 - commit to sessions of creativity twice a week - check.

Step 3 - Start shoe box (gotta start small!) of useful, fun, cheap "craftable" tidbits - it wasn't cool getting all ready to make play dough and realising we had not food colouring! AND save 'useful' rubbish (egg cartons, toilet rolls etc)

Step 4 - acquire applicable tools - Glue, scissors, small pliers (jewellery making), butchers paper, paint etc...Its quite ridiculous how much stuff we don't have!! 

Step 5 - Do not lament over useful items no longer in possession (ie sewing machine, huge box of scrap materials left behind in Tassie)

Last years Halloween Jack-O-Lanterns...my first and last moment of creativity!

A shout out to This Girl Loves To Talk - inspiring me with her numerous achievable kids craft activities...Thank you!!

Love In Action....

We are going on a holiday in September....back to Tassie, to tie up some loose ends, to visit friends, and for the kids to see their dad.....without Michael I don't think we would have been able to pull it off at all....

There is no other word for it - he has been amazing....*sigh*....his kindness and generosity is slightly overwhelming....I honestly don't know how to receive it....my first instinct is to feel a little guilty - "I don't deserve this!" I feel uncomfortable having someone in my life (romantically) that truly wants me to be happy - and really, I have heard that line before.... but this guy is actually coming through with the goods! (shock horror! Well, at least from my experiences anyway...)

My next emotion is to feel complete indebted to him - and that freaks me out - because as much as I love him I can't promise a permanent future with him...(yet)...not that he has asked.....but in my head, that is the only way I could make it up to him, or maybe...the only way I can actually justify myself in feeling deserving of such gestures of love and sacrifice...cause I tell ya - driving from Brisbane to Melbourne with three children is no easy feat!!...(maybe we will see how he feels when we get back....hahaha)

However, he has assured my that I do not owe him anything and I can 'dump' him whenever I want...*wink*

I never dreamed that it could be this easy (not that I expect it to be all easy sailing, but in comparison....) - that I could feel so secure with another person.....watch out, I may just get used to it! :)

Chocolate Boycott In Review.....

So....it was harder than I thought.

Not because I just wanted to eat chocolate - but because I never realised how much chocolate was everywhere!!

To not buy it, except for the kids (Amelie lasted about a 2 days not wanting chocolate) and to ignore the block of dark almond chocolate that is always in the fridge - was mostly easy....but to be at activities and visiting people etc, and to remember that chocolate cake is in fact chocolate (I know!) - was difficult. At least fives times over the month I went to eat a chocolate dessert only to remember at the last minute (missed my mouth by inches!) and pass it off to someone else....

BUT

I did fall of the wagon.....once

20 June - the date will haunt me forever....hahahaha.....

I was doing so awesome before that....ugh! It wasn't really about the chocolate, but mostly about what it represented - I was having a sooky moment and feeling like a failure about other things....So I thought "forget it, I am a huge failure, where's the chocolate!" :) I had a few squares from dad's fridge chocolate stash....how pathetic is that!?!?!

Aside from that, it was all good..... My awesome sister in law sent me over a small block of free trade chocolate from Tassie - that was yum and I had a hot chocolate to celebrate, though I have rediscovered Caro - and it is still replacing hot chocolate as my preferred hot drink...apparently I can also buy organic raw cacao to drink as well.

A really good experience - I am glad that I made the effort.  :) 

To Make A Stand....

One Tree Hill - awesome art from here

Ephesians 4:14

That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;

I was concerned about a clip that I saw yesterday - and this scripture came into my head....(thanks seminary!)   and it got me thinking.....Do I just go along with the crowd? or do I have conviction enough in my beliefs? (and I am talking all kinds here, not just religious) That if I was surrounded by those who didn't agree with me, to the point of mocking, would I still stand firm or would I waver?? 

I was part of an experiment when I was studying psychology (a million years ago)  and the study was on exactly that - they had a group of people in a room discussing a topic, such as abortion, and it was purposely set up so that a few were the minority opinion  - to see if within a group situation would people feel pressure to conform their opinion. I didn't have a problem at all speaking my mind, even being the minority, in that kind of situation....

BUT....

What if the group was in fact "society" and those beliefs and opinions were broadcast by all forms of media.....What then?? Would the mass popularizing of an opposing view in all kinds of desirable, positive light make me doubt my own?? What if the government (and this makes me think of North Korea, Nazi Germany, Communist China) enforced a certain belief? Would I still stand for my own??

Would you???

"Mini" Bonfire Saturday Night + Michael Amendment

I don't know what came over me - but yesterday I just felt like having a fire. It probably had a lot to do with dad cleaning out the shed and wanting to know if we wanted to check out the old tent and see if it could still be put up.....I want to go camping - we have never been on a camping trip as a family and its something I would really love to do....soon!

So anyway....I was in an excited "I want to go camping" mode and decided we could at least build a fire and cook marshmallow etc with the kids.....so we did.....

The finished result

My damper efforts

I may have had a mini "fit" while making it - I wanted to make it by myself, and mum (though she won't admit it *wink*) and dad were offering advice and assistance......I was getting a little frustrated and stressing that now the dough was too wet etc....and then dad has the nerve to say "Natasha its DAMPER, it doesn't matter...." ARGH....Hahaha.....

Marshmallow-ing....

A potentially fun event, yet in reality disastrous (only for parents maybe).....It was messy, the kids got sticky, Jack kept putting his marshmallow stick IN the ash, and complaining it was too hot when he was eating them - loads of toasted marshmallows got dropped on the ground.... BUT the kids had fun, so that's all that matters I guess.....I think I need to mellow out...*sigh* :)

Mmmm....damper with butter and golden syrup....soooo good!!

But oops, the whole bottom of it was burnt - next time I will put it in more of a hole and not just on top of the coals...

 Amendment:

I would just like to say, the day definitely would not have been as fantastic if Michael wasn't there! 

He went along with my idea

helped me collect wood

built the fire

hacked away at a decent size log with a blunt axe

helped me chill out over the damper (and everything else - I was in a rather bad mood for some reason)

was awesome with the kids 

toasted marshmallows for me while I was helping Jack with his

AND

was hilariously whingey when Ash kept getting sticky marshmallow all over his jeans (*wink*)

When the kids went to bed we sat by the fire, looked at the stars and talked about the universe.....

He showed me the Southern Cross and how to find South in the night sky.

So Michael, I know you are not ticked off and didn't want me to amend my entry - But I am glad you said something, because as it was, such a brilliant day was not accurately represented....Thanks for being part of it, and making memories with us....I loved it! :)