New Year Detox....

After a not so good sleep last night, retiring late and waking up with the sun/heat (definitely back in Queensland) I went for a run - I wasn't going to but Michael expressed his surprise that I hadn't yet, so I did.

It was a rubbish run. I felt heavy, and weary  - it was hard. I was depressed and felt like I wanted to vomit. Not physically, more of an emotional purge that only a good cry can do, but I couldn't do that either. I felt so icky I had to turn off my iPod, the music was driving me mental.

So as I was running/struggling and thinking the idea can into my head that maybe my body was rather toxic. Even though I had been running a bit over the holiday period I hadn't been kind with the food that I was eating. You know, sugar is poison (sooo much chocolate!) and all of that. Plus my face is evidence, I am like a hormonal teenager, with big sore pimples on my chin and lower cheeks. At that moment the thought of eating anything made me feel sick.

So I compiled a two week New Year Detox for myself, which I have started today:


1. Cut anything that doesn't grow from your diet

 No meat

No dairy

No eggs

No sugar

No caffeine 

No alcohol 

(I don't drink but if you do, this would be useful, same for the caffeine)

Protein will include nuts, seeds and legumes and Carbohydrates from legumes, oats, brown rice, quinoa and sweet potato. Fats from nuts and olive oil, and coconut milk/cream (not dairy). Yes to veges and fruit.
eg:
Lunch was sweet potato and mixed salad (spinach leaves, tomato, capsicum, cucumber) with mixed toasted seeds and dressed with virgin olive oil, balsamic and ground chilli.
Dinner tonight is red lentil and vegetable dahl with brown rice.
Breakfast tomorrow (I felt too yuck to eat it today) will be porridge with mixed berries and nuts or mushrooms. (thinking to experiment with coconut milk)
snacks: dried apricots & mixed raw nuts, cut up carrot and celery (maybe with some organic peanut butter), a banana

2. Drink 2 litres of water a day - especially in this heat.

3. Do some kind of exercise every day

I run/gym class about 4 times a week anyway but will add walking on the other days. For me this detox isn't a time for me to be hardcore workout girl, its main aim is to get my body feeling good and any other workout goals I have for the new year I will start after this.

4. Do not weigh yourself

I hardly weigh myself anyway because I refuse to get depressed over a number, but this one is for my husband - he weighs himself every day. Weight loss should be inevitable, so do it at the end.

5. 15 minutes each day to de-clutter the house 

I don't mean regular cleaning, but time to get rid of junk. This detox is mostly, but not just, about my body.

6. Take a break from blow drying.and/or straightening your hair 

It may require some more up do's (which are great in the summer here anyway) and its only for two weeks. Treat yourself to a hair treatment - salon or home

7. Rejuvenate your body 

Get back into the habit of using a body scrub once a week and a face scrub and mask once a week. Take your nail polish off and pay attention to your feet. 

8. Take time every day to notice things that you love about yourself and write them down

9. Don't spend money on anything except food and necessary petrol.

To reset your spending habits after Christmas and the sales.

So if all goes well - at the end you/I should feel and look better and be pumped to continue on with the other goals for the year. 

Cause, you know, nothing is impossible!

365 Days of Gratitude: Day 2

I have spent the whole entire day in the car - and the better part of the afternoon/night kinda angry (I took a turn driving, husband was passenger, enough said).....sooooo I was having trouble seeing the things I am grateful for today. Now that I am home however, it is a little easier...........

I am grateful for a car that traveled well over 4000 km and got us home safely.

For children that were extremely well behaved and tolerant during the journey.

And even though I spent a whole lot of time being cross at him today, I am so incredibly grateful for Michael - for driving us to Tasmania and back, on a holiday he really didn't want to have, so that children could spent Christmas with their father. Grateful for his organisation, super packing skills, and responsibility so we got everywhere on time and I didn't get to stress out much!

Lastly, I am thankful for Ms NavMa(m) for not getting us lost, and taking us on a spontaneous tour of the Great Lakes on our way down to Hobart.

365 Days of Gratitude: Day 1

.....and I am already behind!

Yesterday was filled with cleaning, packing and squeezing every last minute of time with Michaels family before leaving them to travel back home.

So on that first day of the year and of Gratitude, my heart was filled with thanks for family. For the fortune of being married into a family so fun, easy going and lovable.

Thanks also for the opportunity to connect and forge relationships with lost family.

Lastly, I am grateful to be able serve the ones I love,  for those acts of service make me love them even more.

2013:Gratitude

I haven't reviewed the previous year, and I haven't posted anything about our holiday or Christmas.....right now we are in post-Tasmania holiday mode, we survived, and we are chilling in Moe, Victoria with Michael's mum. I hope we are not too much trouble for her! I am really enjoying her company, and the company of cousins and family, and cooking.

Anyway....

I saw Les Miserables yesterday - I am very familiar with the musical, and I didn't want to go (but it was a girl date and Nanna hadn't been to the movies for years). I knew it would be heart wrenchingly sad, and that I would cry, a lot. IT WAS SO SAD....and I am still thinking about it. When I hear or watch stories of other peoples horrendous struggles, I feel so guilty for my life. Its not fair!! Who am I  that I get to have a comfortable life while other people suffer in situations out of their control? The flip side of this emotion is that I feel incredibly grateful - and extra mindful not to take my life for granted.

I have been feeling grateful a lot lately, scattered thoughts throughout my days. But my gratitude hasn't felt sufficient somehow. I remember telling Michael a few weeks ago, when I was feeling particularly blessed, that I wish that Heavenly Father still required us to offer physical sacrifices to him. I felt like I needed a tangible offering of my gratitude.

So when someone put the question out there on Facebook, asking what new years resolutions others had....it came to me - this year I would focus on gratitude.

365 Days of Gratitude 

For My Posterity.....

It's that time of year again - my birthday! This year, however, it seems to be over shadowed by Christmas parties. At 7am we have our ward Christmas party at our favourite lake - Michael gets out of making me breakfast - and that afternoon is our early family Christmas party - and again Michael gets out of making me dinner and cake.....all I had actually wanted him to do for me. How convenient!

It doesn't really bother me though - I get to spend time with my family and I still don't have to cook. Although I am bringing a chocolate cherry trifle to the festivities - my latest dabbling in dessert-ery.

I have one gift request for my birthday however - I had been wanting it for awhile, but I still had to put the pressure on. I would love my blog turned into a book!! Not that I am a super fabulous writer or anything (soooo far from it!), it is because I want a record of myself and my life accessible to my children and my children's children (etc).

History and heritage has always been important to me, I have often wished that I had known how my great grandparents negotiated life, what they thought about, what their strengths and weaknesses were. Did I have any inherited traits - did anyone else obsess over love dancing too???

So Michael - with a tiny bit of help from me on the editing side - is putting year 1 (2010) together for me. (We are using au.blurb.com) I wrote a lot that year! Even just skimming through it, there is so much that I had forgotten about. Poignant spiritual experiences, life learning experiences and just a plain record of my journey.

I am so glad I started writing.

Permission To Stop....?? And The Cake....Finally!

I don't get sick very often.....maybe once or twice a year.....(I think) and sometime last month I was having a "sick fantasy". I was stressing out over uni and there was so much to do with the kids I just wanted a break - I hoped, just a little, that I would get sick so that I could rest.

Sick fantasies are just like any other fantasies though - they are a nice idea, but the reality is not nearly so awesome......

So my fantasy came true, on the day of my daughter's 8th birthday, right in the middle of my giant cupcake making effort, a week before my major assignment was due and 2 days before I was doing a 10km charity run - the timing couldn't have been more inconvenient!

I had finished the chocolate base (the 2nd attempt) that morning and had just baked the cake and cupcakes (for school)...I had a bit of a head ache which I though was a little unusual since I don't often get them, so I drank more water. Brier then asked me if I wanted to go to Spotlight with her to look for decorative items for her wedding. Feeling a little anxious about the cake, but not wanting to turn down quality time with her - I agreed. She helped me ice the cupcakes and we dropped them off to Amelie's class just as the first break bell went. It felt like such a hassle to do, but I am glad I did because she was so happy to share her birthday treats with her friends....and she loved my cream cheese icing!

All was well until the trip home - then the wall of pain hit me. Aching all over - Uh oh....."Brier, I think I am sick." (I always find it fascinating how fast the flu attacks....it is probably more subtle than that, but it feels like within 30mins you go from feeling fine to having to go to bed!)

As a good mum I had promised Amelie her choice of dinner that night, and her birthday request was lasagna. So on top of the cake I had that to make as well. Again - the timing was impeccable! (curse you unrealistic sick fantasy!) I got as far as making the bolognese mince that afternoon and was assembling the cake when Michael got home. 

This is as far as I got....

The assembly could have been way better, but I didn't care - I was in pain and my head
was swimming....

I couldn't do anymore, I had to admit defeat. I apologised to Amelie, and told her she would have to have cake tomorrow night so I could finish it properly, and that dinner would be spaghetti bolognese instead. She was gorgeous and understanding and Michael sent me to bed.

I spent the next day on the couch, while the kids were at school, watching Season 1 of Royal Pains....as sick as I was, I still felt bad for doing it....

Side bar: Why is it that I/we (as mother's) need an excuse as extreme as illness to grant ourselves permission to stop?? I have found, excuse or not - it doesn't work.....I still feel guilty thoughts pricking the back of my mind that I should be doing something....anything!! Even if I am couch ridden with the flu.....ugh, Guilt.....oh how I loathe thy companionship!

After picking the kids up from school I called Amelie over and said "Look, I feel terrible - I need your help so that I can finish your cake this afternoon and we can take it to Babushka's tonight". We were staying at my grandmothers for the night so that I would be close to where I was running - I still had hopes that I would be feeling well enough.

Once again she was wonderfully understanding and eager to help me. I had an idea in mind for the icing to be very bright, and originally I wanted to pipe it on....

Icing Side Bar: I am not a fan of icing, its pretty but it tastes like straight sugar, or really buttery sugar. I refuse to sacrifice taste for pretty so I try and experiment with different icings. For previous birthdays I have done a ganache glaze or whipped ganache - this time I wanted to try cream cheese frosting....

....But as it turns out, there is not a lot else that holds its shape well when piped other than butter cream frosting and the heat here doesn't help matters...so I decided to go slightly easier on myself and just spread it on. Amelie and I decided on icing colours and used some lollies that she bought for her birthday - and....

Birthday Cake magic happened.....

It was fabulous!

and tasted great too!!

I don't think we actually ate any until the next day - Ami had overdosed on eating the icing while was were decorating.....

And no I didn't make the charity run. I was devastated! It is not often I get to actually use my ability to run for a cause. *sad face*

Free.....

I had to take a moment, I wanted to share this feeling before I lost it.....I have been listening to this song over and over this morning and it has my heart exploding with gratitude....



Unfortunately I couldn't find a live version, so you will just have to use your imagination, cause  nothing beats John Legend at a piano.....

I am so very grateful for my freedom - 
To live in a free country where I can live how I choose,
To be free from poverty,
from violence and harm.
To be free from the invisible chains of addiction, anger, and self loathing.
To be free to love and to speak my mind.
Today I feel blessed,
That I am free to be me.

But - 
My heart also breaks for all those that are not. For those that are forgotten and hurting. For those that are not free to express themselves, that are bound by poverty and fear.

For those that don't know the joys of what it feels like to be free.