"ME"- Raw and unadulterated.....it ain't pretty :)
So I haven't blogged for awhile.....times have been kind of hard and instead of being negative and depressing on occasion I just decided not to 'write'. So was talking to Ms "This Girl Loves To Talk" today and blogs came up - as they do :) and I started feeling a little guilty for holding back - I know I am not the only one struggling from time to time - but lately I feel like a crazy mum/woman that doesn't have it together at all, and just maybe I suck too much to contribute anything noteworthy to the 'blog world'.....but unfortunately being as brutally open about myself as I am it was bound to come exploding out at some point.....so prepare for an 'Elliot Reid Moment' ....(I love Scrubs!)
My face is driving me nuts! - I have been constantly breaking out for the last year and a half and its just not getting better, and I feel intensely self conscious and frustrated. I am seeing a Homeopath to try some homeopathy to clear it up.....(ps don't need any advice on skin, I have heard it all!) The problem with this is, for it to get better it has to get worse - and not just my skin, all the other things that don't feel quite right.....so basically I feel like a crazy person! Frustrated, irritable, angry, highly emotional and insecure....all my issues magnified....nice. *sigh*
On Top Of That....
I have an injury that is affecting my running - so I haven't been able to do it much at all....I am putting on weight, despite reasonably good eating habits (my body is awesome like that), which I feel crap about. Haven't had the energy/motivation to keep up my weights training as much either. Trying to maintain a healthy body image is hard - even though I know I am fit and healthy...suffering from the "will he love me anyway?" paranoia in a major way.....all adding to my current frustration....
And the usual....single mum of three kids (including a 3 year old who just ramped up his assertiveness training!), university and dancing on the side (though not so much of that at the moment) - having a bit trouble telling the difference between my churning emotions and the 'normal' life stresses.
Very minor issues - I wish I had a decent camera, and I want a nice looking blog, having problems finding a layout I like! ....And want to learn html so I can do it myself.
On a good note - Church is fantastic and I have an awesome man in my life.....so YAY!
So thats why I haven't been blogging - feeling like a huge loser because I am not coping well.....but I do feel a lot better after that emotional outburst.....:)