Sunday, May 30, 2010

Can't Beat The "Sumo"....


"Sumo Salad"

My absolute favourite place to eat lunch

I'm kind of a salad junkie....and their's are the best!

Loving their winter soups at the moment though....

Friday, May 28, 2010

Endings.....Reflection....And The Full Moon.....


Well, I am feeling rather thoughtful tonight, as of 12am I was officially without a license (I got home from dancing with 10secs to spare!...as you do...*wink*) Since this also coincides with the full moon I thought maybe I would take a bit of time to reflect. To set the scene - my curtains are wide open, I have a black candle burning on my bedside table and on my bookshelf I have three other candles burning, with my incense. Black is apparently symbolic of "ending", and quite fitting as I contemplate the next six months and the end of my freedom. I am thinking not only of the "end", but the opportunities this experience will bring.

*It will slow me down *give me more time with the children *I will be more organised *More time and motivation to bake *The chance to save money!!!...to name but a few....

I am a little disappointed with myself that it will take something this drastic to achieve the above - not that this is the purpose - but just that all of these things were achievable anyway.....I have been pulled in too many direction this last year. Hopefully now I can focus more on the important things. Don't get me wrong though...when this 6months is over - dancing will be back up there, even if takes up far less of my time!....For what is life without passion??

Another thing that I have been thinking about this night is "fear"....I have a big fear of the unknowns in my life. I always think I need to have everything figured out, to have all the answers now. So on this night, I am letting go of my fear....and letting time be my guide - I know the answers will come eventually. I will learn as my life unfolds and not be so worried if I have it all right all the time....it is the journey that counts after all!



Happy full moon people! xx

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Where Did You Get Your Body From?....I Got It From My Mama.....

Me and Mum AFTER our run

Mum came over for the weekend (awesome)....and this morning we went for a road run - its been so long since we have been able to do that together and I really miss it. It also got me thinking, as we talked about different things...

I started thinking about an article I read in the paper last week about how we get our "body image" self esteem from our mothers. Often as daughters the view we have of our bodies is the same as our mother's....a product of watching her and emulating her from the time we were old enough to notice. I have been, over the years, rather frustrated that I have inherited my mother's low self esteem. I have hated that I didn't choose it and I wish I just didn't care.

As I thought about that I thought about my own daughter, and how she is constantly learning things from me....lots of things I wish she wouldn't because I haven't got it all figured out yet. But I can't help it, because I am who I am, still learning and far from being perfect....as was my my mother when she raised me....not that she or I aren't amazing women - just not perfect ;).... We all pick up issues from our parents physical or otherwise, that's life, there is not one single person that doesn't....so we can't be mad because we do. Its what we do from that point that is our choice....and only ours.

There is so much that I have learnt from my mother in relation to my body that has been positive - she taught us from a young age what a healthy diet was (she was an aerobics instructor when we were kids) - something that I took for granted and thought that everyone knew. She has taught me that its more important to be fit and strong than to be skinny. She also taught me how to feel comfortable with the processes of my body - I may have been unhappy with how it looked, but she made sure I was never short on information (oh how I love information!) - puberty, sex, child birth, sickness etc. - she studied to be a nurse and wasn't afraid of detail or being frank. Our family often had very colourful dinner table converstations! She is now studying to be a naturopath and is a wealth of knowledge -and I love it - I am so blessed by the things she has taught me. Because of her positive influence, even after three kids, I am the fittest I have been in my life....and I can run!

Its now up to me to learn how to love my body 'just the way it is' and share that with my daughter, as well as all the priceless information that my mother shared with me.

Mum I love you.....I think you are an amazing woman - and I wouldn't be at all upset if I turned out just like you! xx

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Talk Talk, Talk....

I have had the most intense week....and have been wanting to write something, but just haven't had the time. I had an idea - which I will do - I want to start a blog notebook so I can write down all the insights I have when I don't have a chance to write....because sometimes I am in an awesome head space and the words are just flowing but I can't do anything about it.
But anyway....I have had uni assessments to do - and if you know me, you would know that I barely fit it in. I do my homework (mostly) but don't think about uni until the days that I go, and I don't often go to my lectures....just the tutorials (the lecturers prattle on for AGES...seriously, and I just fall asleep!). Which isn't really a good way to learn, but with three kids, and dancing and lacking organisational skills (ugh...I know!)...That's just how it happens. So on that basis I was SO proud of myself that, even though I left my assignment til the last week, I worked so diligently on it that by the time I was actually writing my report on the last day I wasn't stressed at all - a wonderful feeling - AND I was really happy with what I handed it! :)

ALSO - Michael has been in NZ for the week (picking up his son from his mission...awesome!) BUT - I miss him like crazy! Mostly it hasn't been that bad because I have been so busy....though, the thing that I miss the most is talking to him. We have been talking everyday for months!...and to just not have that, even for a week has left a big hole. Last night I found myself trying to chat to dad about the new dancing shoes that I ordered....he looked at me rather blankly *sigh* ....earlier I called mum to talk and she was too busy. Then I was sitting in my car last night at almost 11pm trying to think of someone to call cause I was going nuts being trapped inside my head for so long! So...to get it out...I am blogging (if you hadn't already noticed!).
I seriously feel like a "Sim" whose social interaction is in the red (oh yeah...I love that game - wish I had time to waste on it!!)
I tried to talk to mum again this morning (she was here) and mentioned how I was feeling " You will see Michael today!!" was her reply - ugh...but she didn't understand -I haven't really talked to ANYONE except for surface chat with people here at home. As much as I am a thinker....I am intensely social and get energy from my interactions with people....so yes, if you are wondering, I am REALLY looking forward to seeing Michael today - but letting a bit out 'blog styles' so I am not so intense when I see him...;)

PS I am meeting his kids today (they are all grown and two of them are married) - and they are meeting mine....just a little nervous!  Did you see the first episode of that new show "Modern Family"?? Oh my goodness...HILARIOUS....but that's a whole other blog post. :)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day.....

I am exhausted and my eyes are sore from crying (for hours!)....my Mother's Day this year equated to a major melt down on my behalf *sigh*....A culmination of a lot of things, iced off with the fact that I really don't think my kids got the memo about Mother's Day...

But in looking back on my day I guess that is what it means to be a mother - going from the extreme of feeling like a complete failure and wanting to put the kids on a plane to live with their dad (this lasted for 2 hours :( ), to watching my 3 year old sleep in my arms at church and thinking how cute he is, Ash getting me a present all by himself from the Mother's Day stall that I really like (the kind of clips I wear), Amelie making me a beautiful card at church, and her kindness in getting all the girls in the house a present, Jack helping me cook and eating all the chocolate, getting emotional flipmode on my mum (I feel awful about that...), giving my man a chance to be there for me (I am so grateful, he is amazing) and having him at a family dinner, watching him play card games with Ash (okay, I got a little warm and fuzzy over that, and yes Jess, he is DEFINITELY a keeper!), having Ash give me a big hug and seeing that my kids love me more than anything, even when I am a less than perfect mum they still think I am the best.....and the "goodnight mummy, we love you" kisses from all of them....

I wouldn't trade it for the world.....Happy Mother's Day beautiful ladies!! xx

* * * * 

A special shout out to Grandma Berice for being the best Great Grandmother EVER!! For entertaining the children's crazy whims, for letting them get 'creative' constantly, for allowing the early morning visits and making them super special, and for watching "Thomas" over and over (for that is truly an amazing feat).....I am so grateful for the influence that she is in their lives and feel amazingly blessed that they get the same Grandma I had when I was their age....I love you Grandma!!! xx

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

In My Head.....Stories....


Occasionally before bed I tell the kids a made up story....(very occasionally!). But they remember them and always talk about them, even ones from back when we were in Tassie. According to them, I am a brilliant storyteller....and I don't quite get it. To me my stories are ghastly (I can't even retell the plot of a movie properly without losing the entire feel and story in translation!), they never make sense, and they are filled with lots of "ummms". I would honestly be embarrassed if anyone heard me telling them.

What I think the children love about them - 
They get to be the main characters
  The setting is always the Island of Soder (for Jack)
There is always a kingdom (so Amelie can be a princess) 
And a chance for heroism (Ash, of course)....

So yay for the small things that make us amazing to our children. I hope, for now while they are young, these stories make up for at least some of my parenting stumbles....

So...How Do You Like Your Eggs...??



This sentence came out of my mouth Monday morning.... my favoured male companion (I feel like I am too old to have a boyfriend...haha) had stayed over my family's house....and it got me thinking.....

 .....First it made me think that the way people like their eggs is quite a distinct personal preference....And then it made me think of "Runaway Bride" and how the Julia Roberts character never actually knew how she liked her eggs because she always just had them the same as her partner at the time....

Cooking for someone new is rather interesting - Are they sweet or savoury? Do they have any allergies? Do they prefer simple or complex flavours? - and rather important to me....mostly, I think, because 'eating' was such a drama when I was married. I would often be cooking meals that were only eaten and enjoyed by me and one of the children. I started hating meal times and stressing about what and how I cooked everything....I got to the point where I actually forgot 'how I liked my eggs'!.....I now finally realise that it wasn't my cooking that was the problem....

So anyway, back on topic - Cooking for someone new....I always want to get it right the first time, like somehow I am so in tune with the person that I know exactly what they like. But it doesn't really happen like that....and this time was no exception....I got the "its really nice, but for future reference...." regarding my breakfast making....Nooooooo!

Oh well, there is always next time.....:)

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Sunday Musing....


Listening to this brilliant discussion on "Mormon Identity" regarding emotional and mental health specifically among Latter-Day Saints.....Click Here - really interesting, quite long, but I highly recommend it....