Tuesday, February 23, 2010

SuiGeNeRiS Speaks....By Definition

This is how I see SuiGeNeRiS (source: I can't remember, its not mine!) - the transformation

It may be a little delayed...but I just wanted to explain further the general focus of this blog. I wanted it to be something that was public, that anyone, anywhere could read - so I decided to make it solely about my thoughts, feelings and opinions and not so much about my children...kind of the way "Everybody Loves Raymond" is about their marriage and the kids are around but not the centre of attention...(ps I love that show...hehe).

and

I think waaay to much...so this is my outlet. :)

Why SuiGeNeRiS?... you may (or may not...) have wondered. SuiGeNeRiS is one of the main characters in my ex husbands story. Her name is actually SaRaNa, but when she enters another world - she becomes SuiGeNeRiS - Both a literal and figurative transformation (I will be brief since this is not my story). SaRaNa is shy, insecure and unsure of herself (pretty much me, most of my life) and SuiGeNeRiS (by definition means "unique") is purposeful, confident etc etc....I had SuiGeNeRiS (Sue-jen-air-is) engraved on my wedding ring - and I always had her "transformation" as a personal goal of self development. (Ummm does that sound weird??) Well, I never felt that I would get there, or be worthy of such a character - so in my mind I have still been SaRaNa...

until now. 

It took a number of things to change my mindset - having the courage to say 'enough' and walk out of a damaging marriage, accepting that it is going to be me and the kids indefinitely and having to plan accordingly (ie going back to university) , and discovering "myself" all over again. In doing so I realised that being SuiGeNeRiS isn't being the perfect woman like I always thought it was....

It is....standing firm in knowing who I am, what I believe in and what I want out of life (for myself and my children)..... I have found that in this personal knowledge there is unlimited power. And when we are powerful we can do anything and we are the heroines in our own story. 

Soooo.....enjoy! 

4 comments:

  1. and YES i have very much wondered what the name meant.. i was gonna google it :D

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  2. pronouciation? su gen er is?? or Su e gen er is?

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  3. love it... wish there was a way for us to find that powerful, purposeful, confident energetic woman inside of us without the yucky bits we seem to need to go through first!
    Hope you are really proud of you!

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